Triple U

I have always liked reality television. It is the gift that just keeps on giving. To watch people just throw all their business out on the airwaves is just classic. You have to have some real balls to just let everything you do in your life just hang out there for everyone to see. Some moments are happy, sad, and funny. Then there are the moments that you just cringe and you holler at your television NO!

That moment came for me when I was watching this one particular show. Let me set the backdrop for you. On this particular show, there is a married couple who, shall we say, are having some problems. The guy has cheated on his wife practically their entire marriage. But it’s not regular old cheating where you meet the skank at the motel. No, this cheating goes to the next level. It is over the internet. That’s right, the internet. No touching, no caressing the woman’s body with your hands. This guy whips it out in front of a computer screen in Skype like fashion and proceeds to do his thing with someone on the other side of screen. Now said guy has been caught numerous times. So instead of coming back to his wife with a box of chocolates in one hand and flowers in the other, he comes with a fist full I’m sorry, I won’t do that again, and will you take me backs only to go out and do it again.

Fast forward to the golden moment for me. The guy had been caught cheating again and at this point the couple have separated, but  are living in the same house. The wife’s family are having a family dinner at a restaurant when lo and behold who shows up unannounced, the cheating husband. Now for most of us, when you blow into a place unannounced and the level of uncomfort goes up drastically, you usually sense it, excuse yourself and leave. Not this genius. Not only did he stay, but he does one of the greatest Triple U’s in the history of reality television.

Triple U stands for unfunny, uninspired, and utterly stupid. The unfunny moment was when the guy gets up and starts apologizing and starts telling his in-laws of his sexual escapades on the internet. The in-laws which included his mother in law and sister in-laws looked on in horror as this train just kept chugging down the tracks. The uninspired moment came when as he was apologizing, he didn’t do it like most people do with some stumbling of words and repeating the same thing over again. No, this guy, wait for it, breaks out the cue cards and starts reading his concession speech of an apology! At this point my wife and I are looking at each other in disbelief. Did we really just watch this guy say I’m sorry on cue cards?

Now at this point, his wife is gulping her food down because if she could, she would jump in a hole in the floor to get away from this Casanova as quickly as possible. The wife is now in tears and one of the sister in-laws has gone over to console the wife. The utterly stupid moment then comes when as his wife is crying, he bust out with the words all people who are receiving an unfunny and uninspired apology all want to hear, I’m not done.

The look on the wife’s face was priceless. It was the look of ‘really dude’? He then goes on to say that every marriage has problems, that he is going to sexual addiction counseling, and the classic line, I love my wife and my family. For me, if you loved your wife and family, you wouldn’t be putting your wears on the net for all to see like internet porn. Unless, you’re auditioning for a career change. And I certainly wouldn’t tell the people who, in essence, are apiece of paper away from being out of your family. I would have also given some serious thought about bum rushing a family dinner I wasn’t invited to with in-laws that don’t care for me at a restaurant with knives with a cue card apology.

Next time you are having that life moment when you need to speak from the heart for whatever reason, make sure you sit down and think it over. Think to yourself if I say this from my heart is this going to be a Triple U moment. If you think is going to be, do yourself a favor. Just keep it to yourself.


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