commentary

I Call Bull$%@#

So the Mrs. and I decided to hop in the rig and go check out the movie

Think Like A Man. It’s a movie based on the book

Act Like A Lady, Think Like A Man. This book is supposed to be the ultimate playbook on how to get what you want from a man. I call bullshit.

The movie got 2 hours of my life that I can never get back. It was mediocre, predictable, and after a while, I wanted to kick Kevin Hart in the throat box because he was annoying as hell. But women are having girlfriend date nights just to go this movie. They are eating this up like it’s a free buffet. Well, if you are falling for this and you are hoping this film will lead you to getting the man of your dreams, you need your head examined.

I call bullshit for several more reasons. If you’re taking relationship advice from a man who has been married 3 times

I got some swamp land in a prime spot in Arizona to sell you. This guy can’t tell you nothing. 2nd, if some of you women are dealing with some of the things that, without giving away anything if you haven’t seen the movie yet, the women in the movie were dealing with, it’s not the men, IT’S YOU! You are in your own way when it comes to relationships. I should write a book and title it Act Like You Have Common Sense, Think With Your Brain. Because any woman with common sense would see the obvious red flags waving in their face.

If your guy invites you back the house and says to you ‘Shhhhhh, we have to be quiet because mom is asleep in the next room’, and you agree to go with him anyway, it’s not him. IT’S YOU! If he then leads you to his bedroom

equipped with a full-size bed, camouflage bed sheets, and pictures of

Lisa Turtle and

Pamela Anderson plastered on his wall, and you agree sleep with him in that room anyway? It’s not him ladies, IT’S YOU!

How many

Dungeon and Dragon dorks do you know that have girlfriends? What guy do you know that has

World of Warcraft figurines all over his shack and is getting laid? I can tell you. Ummmm….NONE! If you agree to go over and lay with him, it’s not him, IT’S YOU!

Ladies, once again you make us men out to be these complex creatures when in reality, we’re not. I’m gonna tell you the secret that you need to know to get what you want from us. You ready? BE HONEST ABOUT WHAT YOU WANT! That’s it! Tell us what you want. No emotional maps. No 90 day rules. Just be honest about what you want. If we can hang with the contract terms and stipulations, cool. If we can’t, cool too. Move on to the next man because I promise you what one man doesn’t want, another one will. If you just want to have sex with us, just say it. If you want to be friends with benefits, just say so. If you just want to be friends, just say that. Our feelings won’t be hurt. You will probably get further than you think if you just tried a little thing called honesty. Women have all the power. You all should’ve always known that. You didn’t need to spend 25 bucks on a book, 20 bucks at the movies, and another 20 bucks for popcorn and sodas for a 3 time divorcee to tell you that. I gave you that and all it cost you was a few minutes of your time to read this. If I wanted my wife to think like a dude, she wouldn’t be my wife. She would just be one of my homeys.

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