RNC Speakers Guide- The KeyNotes-(You Can’t Say You Didn’t Know)

I hate when people don’t take time to educate themselves on issues. So when I break my Orville Redenbacher and my Coke Zero to watch

the RNC at the St. Pete Forum in Tampa, I like to know some background on the people who are going to be in my box spitting game to me to try to get me to vote for Nit Mitt. Lets take a look at keynote speakers. 1st up:

The Overweight Governor, Heavy C. The man who, by all accounts, would have been the Republican nominee if he would have run, is currently nursing an unemployment rate of 9.8 % which is higher than the national average of 8.3% He is for pro-life with exceptions of incest or rape. He is known for going hard in the paint on people who don’t exactly agree with his views. Case in point:

and this

and this

Calm down Double C! Relax! Then there is this guy:

Marco Antonio Rubio. He was the guy who couldn’t make in the Top 3 choice list for the Veep selection for Nit Mitt. So what’s his consolation prize for his trouble? He gets to announce Nit Mitt to the RNC when he gives his speech. Nice! You got regulated to bummery status. It’s the equivalent of


Micheal Buffer being regulated from introducing boxing’s biggest fights to introducing

The Pop Warner Super Bowl. The Rep from Florida was dubbed by the media as the “Crown Prince” of the Tea Party. That title holds as much weight as me crowning myself  the “Fresh Prince” of So. Cal. No one would believe me. I would need more people and so does Rubio. He has learned the Republican Standard Issued Manual when it comes to policy. Against abortion, faith-based organizations should control birth control, opposed the Pres’s stimulus package, yada, yada, yada, and Sesame Street. Rubio looks like a guy who would have this on his Ipod getting himself hyped to do the biggest job in his political career

These two should provide laughs galore. I can’t wait!



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