commentary / SO...........

The Reality Of Abuse

A couple of weeks ago the reality world got an up close look at domestic violence when

Former Miami Dolphins wide receiver Chad Johnson was arrested on domestic violence charges stemming from an altercation with his wife of all of 42 days

Basketball Wives reality star Evelyn Lozado. While none of us were present in the rig when the altercation took place, everyone, including myself, had strong opinions on the situation. And while it is easy to blame either party, the more I thought about it, I came to the conclusion that a lot of this abuse is  because of the thing that all of us love so much, reality TV. While I don’t condone if Ochocinco did beat Lozado into submission to the point that she had to run to the neighbor’s house, Lozado’s pattern of behavior has led people to give Lozado

The People’s Eyebrow when it comes to her claims when she exhibits this type of behavior

or this

Lozado is a tough talking mami, but yet she expects people to believe that when she confronted Ochocinco about a condom receipt that she previously stated before that you were cool with before, that was the straw that broke the camel’s back.

The reality is that Lozado may have used the abuse card to boost her reality career and rightfully so, it backfired. While Lozado may have tried to obtain more notoriety from the incident, some reality stars are really in an abusive type of environment and it plays out in front of the camera without any regard of the repercussions. Cases in point:

Mimi Faust of Love and Hip Hop Atlanta. While I’m Team Mimi all the way, to watch her life play out with her on again/off again boyfriend in her words 4 years Stevie J.

is cringe worthy to the point that it begins to make people question if this is real or fake. The rundown of some of the things Mimi went through include:

Enduring Stevie J having a very public affair with is artist

Joseline Hernadez and getting her pregnant, having her “friend”

Karlie Redd constantly point out Stevie J’s numerous conquest, only to call Faust stupid behind her back, and Stevie J telling an interviewer at TheJasmineBrand.com when asked if Mimi could date other men:

You can’t ask me that because I’m not going for that. I don’t have to and I won’t. I’m not entertaining that one right there.”

No one ever once decided to stop rolling the film because it was the train wreck that we all want to see. Do you think Mimi would put herself in this scenario a couple of weeks back

if it wasn’t for the cameras following her life as it unfolds? Probably not.

Case #2

Teresa Guidice of Real Housewives of New Jersey. While the bickering back and forth with her family is nerve-racking and annoying at best, when it comes to her husband

Joe Guidice, she is in the biggest denial I have ever seen. Some of the things Teresa has been through include:

In 2009, Joe and Teresa filed for bankruptcy with debts of 11 million dollars, Joe is facing 10 years in New Jersey State Prison after allegedly trying to obtain a driver’s license using his brother’s information while Joe’s license was suspended, being told to shut up in front of his children, and the rumors of him cheating which were played out in last weeks episode of the Real Housewives of New Jersey. Did Teresa say once stop rolling film? No she didn’t because this all about expanding her brand so that she can pay back the 11 million dollars owed because her and Joe withdrew from bankruptcy in 2011.

I have great confidence that if the cameras weren’t rolling and that a lot wasn’t at stake career and brand wise, that these women would be in a different place when it comes to their men. But the allure of the lights and the fame that come with reality TV also comes at a heavy price. The price these women are paying is their self-esteem and their self-worth. I know it can’t be easy to read or hear people on the outside looking in such as myself call these women stupid, dumb, ignorant, and fame whoring. When we as a society do that, aren’t we just as bad as the men who, are for all intents and purposes, trying to break their spirit so that they can be controlled? We’re just sitting back watching all this unfold. All in the name of entertainment. Have you stopped to think what you could do to help these women? Have you ever stopped and thought what would you do if Teresa or Mimi or even Evelyn for that matter hit you up on Twitter or Facebook and said to you ‘I’m hurt. I need you’re help’? Of course not. Because at that point, reality TV just became real life. It’s no longer for your entertainment. Could you handle it?

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