political

The RNC Winner and Losers

The RNC has come and gone and it was “interesting” to say the least. With all the Obama bashing and their “misleading” themes (translation: lying) such as

We Built It and that stupid

debt clock prop, it made for some television history. And not in a good way. Their was only one winner at the convention of all the speakers and that was

Governor Susanna Martinez of New Mexico. In my opinion, she should have been Nit Mitt’s running mate. She came across very engaging, her back story would’ve been felt by both Repubs and undecideds, and she seemed like she would have been more of the down to earth candidate the Republican party desperately needed to have people believe what they have to say. She maybe could have gotten Mitt over the Latino and to some extent the African-American vote better than his current running mate. Of all the speeches, she came across as very real. The rest of the speakers were speaking like they were at a lie telling contest at the State Fair. For example:

Governor Bob McConnell of Virginia broke out this during his speech on Tuesday:

“In states with Republican governors, the average unemployment rate is a full point lower than in states with Democratic governors. It makes a difference. Republican governors lead seven of the 10 states with the lowest unemployment rates. And 12 of the 15 states that have been ranked ‘best for business’ have Republican governors.”

That would be true if Nevada (12.0%), New Jersey(9.8%) S. Carolina (9.6%), Georgia (9.3%), Mississippi (9.1%), Michigan (9.1%),  Florida (8.8%), Tennessee (8.4%), Alabama (8.3%) and Arizona (8.3%) were not apart of the United States. These states are running at the national average of unemployment or worse. We don’t believe you Bobby, you need more people. The only reason why you have such a low employment rate in Virginia is because your state employs most of the federal government! Nice try Bobby, but just not buying what you’re selling.

Governor John Kasich of Ohio. He broke out his best lie telling story when he said this about balancing the state budget

“We sat down and set priorities. We eliminated those programs that we no longer needed. When government people spend our money, they are very wasteful about it. So we went through and eliminated those things we did not need, but we prioritized those things that we really did need.”

What he failed to tell people is that how he balanced his budget was to slash school budgets and budgets for community projects which in turn forced layoffs and tax hikes across Ohio. And on another note. Name dropping the Black Eyed Peas and Jay Z  doesn’t make you cool. It makes you look that creepy old guy trying to be young and hip. Stay in your lane and stick to politics. Beginning a career in music at your age isn’t the move.

P90X Paul “Provolone” Ryan. P90x broke out his best lie with this statement about the GM plant in his hometown Jamesville, Wisconsin:

A lot of guys I went to high school with worked at that GM plant. Right there at that plant, candidate Obama said: “I believe that if our government is there to support you … this plant will be here for another hundred years.” That’s what he said in 2008.

Well, as it turned out, that plant didn’t last another year. It is locked up and empty to this day. And that’s how it is in so many towns today, where the recovery that was promised is nowhere in sight.

Well, P90X, that would be true if President Obama was President in 2008! That honor goes to W since he was President in 2008. Come on, Provolone! You don’t think people are going to research that?

Condoleezza “Ferregamo” Rice got in on the contest when she told MSNBC’s Andrea Mitchell that killing Osama Bin Laden was a joint effort between 2 administrations. Ferregamo, take a look at this picture with me.

I’m just wondering. Maybe I’m missing him like I’m looking for him in a Where’s Waldo cartoon. But I don’t think, I don’t know, but I don’t think I see 43 nowhere in this room. Nor you, nor Cheney, nor Powell, none of you. So this is a joint effort? Just come on back to No. Cal and teach at Stanford, sit and think about a run at the Governorship of California, because you’re delusional. But we know how you get down in a time of a crisis. You go out and shop for

Salvatore Ferregamo pumps while people drowned in died in Katrina. Very nice Doc! Other speeches were just a self-serving attempt to gloss oneself as being what’s best for the party. Nit Mitt looked in pain as The Overweight Governor

Heavy C was making a pitch for himself for 2016 instead for Nit Mitt in 2012. And I thought

Ann Romney came off cringe worthy at best. She seemed to forcing issues that she frankly knows nothing about. I don’t care that you and Nit Mitt meet at a sock hop. I don’t care that he makes you laugh. Hell, he does that for me everyday with statements like this

I don’t care that you had to had a work bench as a desk. Or bed. Or goldfish table. Or whatever you had it for. I don’t care that you know about going to the ER and doing book reports with kids until late into the night because no one told you to lay down on your back and have the 5 kids that you had. So don’t expect me to give you extra gloss and kudos for doing what you as a parent should do. And then there was the man of the hour

Nit Mitt. I was moved about the story of his mom and dad’s relationship. It made him to be more than this stiff ironing board of a human being. Him telling the story of the fact she knew he had passed away because he didn’t leave her a rose the morning of his death as he had done every day they were married was refreshing from him. But than Mitt Romney became Mitt Romney again and totally blew it with his little bitch ass digs at the President, the environment, and Vladimir Putin. Where did that come from? Mitt went from sugar to shit in a matter of minutes thus in my eyes becoming Nit Mitt once again. Then there came the scratch your head moments like

John McCain’s grumpy old man moment about Syria. While I feel for the people of Syria, I don’t give a shit. I find it amazing that the Repubs are all about war and taking this world police thing literally. But new flashes jackasses, war cost money. You know we got into this debt in the 1st place with 2 wars going on at the same time thanks to 43. You can find money to fund a war, but you can’t find money to help build up your own country. Just stop with that. Then there was all this gloss for

Ronald Reagan. Why didn’t you just dig him up out of the grave and prop him up against the stage? Or better yet as one of my friends suggested, hologram him in there like

Tupac was at Coachella this year. I was beginning to wonder was there something everyone else knew that I didn’t know about double R. Was he alive and it was just a secret?

Ron Paul supporters banging with Mitt Romney supporters. This was an opportunity to gain the Ron Paul supporters vote. But what does the Nitt Mitt crowd do? Treat the Paul supporters like bums off the street thus costing Nit Mitt not only 190 delegates, but blowing some support for the Nit Mitt cause. And was it just me, but wasn’t it a touch of bitchassness going on when while they were doing the roll call, they only called out Mitt’s name? Just wondering.

Rick Santorum  speech turns into a mushy mess. How in the hell do we go from a speech about welfare reform to talking about your daughter Bella? While my heart goes out to them, the constant bringing up of your daughter is becoming redundant. Stick to what you were there for. And the highlight of The RNC was

Josie Wales was trying to bring the heat instead of Clint Eastwood. But then Dirty harry makes an appearance. Can you say weird? I can only assume that this wasn’t the 1st time Clint has had a conversation with an empty chair before. for those who said they felt sorry for him, I say he shouldn’t have taken his artifact fossil ass out there. he looked senile and crazy. His career (or what’s left of it) just got hit like it stepped in front of a moving bus. Either you’re gonna get hurt really bad or you’re gonna die. I can’t wait for the DNC next week.

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One thought on “The RNC Winner and Losers

  1. After I watched the RNC I was not sure there were even words to describe the bizarre, alternative universe they had created that week. But this post did have the right words – great recap and thanks for pointing out how funny AND sad that shit was, all at the same time.

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