I can see this clearly happening…
Wednesday was just another ordinary day at 123 Sesame Street. Everything was all good. Everybody was doing their regular routine. Just minding their business. They even posed for a picture
right before the debates. Then there was a change of tone when this came up.
Everyone in the building gathered on the stoop after the debate. And not surprisingly, everyone is in astonishment. “What did we do to that guy on the screen? Why is gonna try to foreclose on us? Doesn’t he know that we bring joy to kids everyday?” While everyone was still in shock
Bert pulled Ernie to the side. “A, get Elmo, Grover, Big Bird, Cookie Monster, and y’all meet me in the basement. Bert is on fire pacing the floor while he’s talking to the people he wanted to meet. “So, who is this cocksucker who says he’s going to come and try to shut us down? Who is this trying to get at you double B?” Big Bird replied “His name is Mitt Romney. He’s told a lot of people that they’re fired before. In fact, I got a tape of him saying that he likes firing people on my Iphone. Let me show you.
Bert is drinking a cold Corona while he watches the clip. “Oh, so this son a bitch likes firing people, huh? Well, he’s gonna get fired today. All up in that ass! Look in them crates. Pick one. Anyone.” Bert has assembled an arsenal of heat in the basement. Big Bird looks shock and is reluctant to grab some heat. “This isn’t the way I would handle this, Bert.” said Big Bird. Bert replied “Fuck that shit. This mother fucker just bitched you out on national TV. He just told you he’s gonna fire you! What else do you need to know, man? Grover chimes in “For real. Shit just got real in this mother fucker, you heard me? I got to get fired up and right for this shit.” There is a radio in the basement. Grover turns the CD player on to track number 15
Everybody is puff, puff, passing, bobbing their heads, getting fired up for the task at hand. Everyone except Big Bird. ” I can’t do this, I can’t do this.” Big Bird says. Elmo, who is normally just laid back, comes strong at Big Bird. “You can’t do it? You can’t do it? These lame just came out at you, spit in your face and the face of everyone that loves and adore us and you can’t do nothing? Man, fuck that. We on this mother fucker’s bumper. He can stall me out with all this woulda, coulda, shoulda, shit. He ain’t gonna have the chance to fire me cause we at him and when I see him, I’m blasting on sight.” Ernie tells Big Bird “You’re right, this ain’t you. This shit is me all day, everyday bro. Just stay here and keep everybody calm. But before we ride out, take a picture of us will ya?” Big Bird agrees
“Sweet.” Bert says. Alright we out. Ernie, get the
Alphabet car and let’s get at this fool. Ernie goes and gets the car. They all pile in and Ernie turns on the radio to his jam.
As they roll off, Big Bird begins to ponder. What if they really get Mitt Romney? What would they do to Mitt Romney if they saw him right now? Big Bird shrugs his shoulders. “Oh well. It’s his own mother fucking fault.”