DNC Convention: Top 10 Hard In The Paint Moments

 

The DNC was this week. And unlike the

RNC  liefest in Tampa, The DNC in Charlotte, NC seemed to have a lot more, shall we say, truth to its convention. Unlike the RNC’s business like convention where they paraded all the book cooking CEO’s of their respective departments (states), the DNC broke out their CEOs, former CEOs, and the workers. As I sat and watched the DNC, there were so many great speakers who either were praising the President on his work as a President or families and regular people testifying to what the last 4 years have been for them. I even turned to

Fox News aka False News aka Full Of Xaggerations, to see what shade they were going to throw on the DNC, but then I realized that they had gotten beat in the ratings covering the RNC by this

So they couldn’t tell me nothing. There were so many winners this week at the DNC that I had to rack my domepiece to come up with the Top Ten speakers. But then it was hard for me to come up with that without being somewhat biased. So I came up with the Top 10 Hard In The Paint moments of the convention. So I’ll start with Number 10

Sandra Fluke came strong with her view of what a Nit Mitt and P90X presidency would look like for women. She also went hard in the paint on

Rush Limbaugh which was sweet in the end.

Number 9

Now I know I may get some heat from this so let me be clear. It was a great speech! But this is the Hard In The Paint Moments, not speech. It didn’t have a Hard in The Paint moment and go in on Nit Mitt and P90X. I really don’t expect that from the 1st lady. She gets in because she’s Michelle. Point blank period.

Number 8

Lily Ledbetter came at Nit Mitt with that Alabama southern drawl and proceeded to commence to ass kicking his Swiss bank account over 23 cents. Nit Mitt is lucky she didn’t go all

Yosemite Sam on that ass and bust a cap toward the Cayman Islands. Not ever gonna piss you off about your paycheck.

Number 7

Joe Bi came through and you got to see why I NEED him to run in 2016. He got sentimental at times, he got mushy at times, and he went hard in the paint when he needed to. I especially love the direct pointing of the finger to the screen to speak directly to Nit Mitt and P90X. Memo to P90X: Brush up quickly on your debate skills. You are going to need it. You will get your ass handed to you by Joe Bi. That’s one debate you won’t win. So get your facts straight before you step to the podium in October.

Number 6

Even though I would have like to seen a little more fire when she delivered it, Elizabeth Warren came strong with that statement directed at Nit Mitt. Had she came with some base in her voice she would’ve made the Top 5 hands down. But she made it in the Top Ten. That’s more than other folks can say.

Number 5

Deval Patrick came hard with his take as Nit Mitt’s clean up man as Governor of Massachusetts. Well damn, Deval! Are you calling Nit Mitt lazy? No way! I would never put Mitt Romney and lazy in the same sentence. No way! Uh, yes I would and thank you for the 1st hand insight on his work performance.

Number 4

Bill Clinton came to town to endorse The Pres. and to tell everyone that Nit Mitt and P90X can’t add, subtract, or divide. Clinton was awesome. The Repubs have a major problem. They don’t have a President that can speak up for its party candidate. For them to survive, they are going to need W to own up to his 8 year fuck ups and maybe they will have that speaker. As of now, they don’t and it seriously going to cost them.

Number 3

Ted Strickland came strong to the rack with that statement. I know that

Rudolph and Hermie the dentist elf are shaking in their boots at that news. At least Hermie has a side gig when times get tough. What is Rudolph to do? I don’t think there is much work out there for a deer with a red nose. I don’t think I  have ever seen many help wanted ads in the newspaper for unemployed reindeer. I don’t think i have seen ‘Only Reindeer Need Apply’ in the job section of Craigslist. For your sake Rudolph, you better hope Nit Mitt doesn’t get in to the Office.

Number 2

John Kerry called it like it was. Flip Flop Nitt Mitt wants to be a leader but has no position whatsoever. He is just interested in saying he was the President. And Kerry called him on it. You almost made it to Number 1 John, but this got you beat

Number 1

The Pres gets the Number 1 slot because he basically said ‘I’m the President bitch, you’re not and, by the way, you’re stupid’ Straight hard to the paint and a dunk right in the grill. Congrats Pres, you did it. And you will do it again on November 6th. Can’t wait for the debates. It’s not gonna be pretty.